Top shelf material

You know when a tune is so ludicrous and OTT that you can't help but totally fall for it. Well the brilliantly named Wolfgang Gartner has done just that. I don't know what kind of drugs he took to dream up Space Junk but I want to try them. Wolfgang. Take me to your dealer.

Animal clobber in the '011

Having a younger sibling who has a better job than you, who earns more money than you, is capable of holding down a relationship and just doing all the normal shit that adults do can be a bit of a bummer. That's if you dwell on it for too long. Or compare yourself to them. The best course of action is to not think about it all and try and piggy back on their success. My sister works at the zoo and basically runs tings in the gift shop. This is great as it means you receive animal-related gifts all the time and free trips to go and leer at the anteaters. Big. It also means she gets to pick and choose the stock and receives weird shit sent to her by those looking to get their merch on the shelves. These wonderful tee shirts were rejected. I don't know why.



Steeze



Dreads



Hell's angel



Spliffhead



Rudolph goes rogue



Mutley

Keep the vibe alive

The end of January has been strong. Dancing to Ignition next to a dude in a wheelchair on a late school night was big - Singing a terrifying rendition of Two Can Play That Game at a local karoake house was big but on more deviant tip. Asparagus has been everywhere while djing at a 30th (birthday vibes to Dan) was also large. This is a small snapshot. Total vibes...



Fearful



Want



Standard



What the dickens?



Mixing shit up



Aspirational tea



Rave



Conk flex



Ignition



Dal flex



Squire



The first of many new vices



Shame



Breakfast

#Notenuffparking

Review business has been going on in between hangovers and finding a new flatmate - It's been hectic but Mums of Death have taken your arcade memories and given them an airhorn.

Check this Fact review here

Elsewhere J-Rocc does something over than hip hop here while Roska Roska Roska and Toddla T get together for a sweaty bassline union to create Toddska - review here - check the video below... Party down at Corsica in Elephant and Castle this Friday - Not enough parking for your 4x4 - take the Rav4 instead...

Get your bench press on

Industrial music has a bad rep - Not as bad as Fred West's - but it's still not great. Despite the rep, some of the tunes are great - hence, today has been spent staggering around and getting cheery to D.A.F. It's proper wobbly cruising musik - If I had any muscles I'd kiss them while getting my favourite bear to simultaneously beat me off.

Hanging bad style...

Yesterday was a classic hangover - Waking up on a sofa late for work - Get to work - Need ballast. Get out of work. Go straight to the pub. Then another pub. Then, before you know it, you're drinking tonic wine and listening to Imagination at a volume some could deem anti-social. Their loss...



Pre-work nom



Third breakfast



Geller - Get a grip



Vibes



Povvy lunch - standard



Great success



Post work pre tea spring rolls



Kitchen after hours hype



Buckied



Keep the tippex close especially at bed time

Bussing a nang down the farm

Shit - Hackney City Farm has got more wildlife than you can bus a leng at - plus if you walk up to the nearby cruising spot like we did at the weekend you'll found a gang of marauding squirrels - those fools are ruling tings round dem parts. They swarmed around us like a bunch of Somalian pirates before stealing all our nuts - Cheeky fucking bastards. We're never trusting anything with a tail ever again.



Yer mum



Yer mum's mum. Sleeping in her own shit



Yer mum. Getting up after sleeping in her own shit



You ewe



El burros



Get off my hand



Please stop cruising. Please?



Aggressive, deviant and defiant cruising - lawless and wrong



Get your claws off me nuts



Too close for comfort



Saying?



Readeh

Shit's got real

Chaos has reigned of late - Thursday nights have become THE night to drink everything in sight - meaning the Fridays of the new year have been character building exercises in endurance and stamina. Despite any efforts to cover up the night before, the red eyes always give the game away. Rats. Last Thursday culminated in giving a man with a beard a phone number in local late night haunt the Dolphin. 'Why?' is a question that will hopefully never be fully answered.

Elsewhere we ventured down the London Fields birthday for a messy 40th, acquired a new flat mate and sourced and subsequently purchased a bottle of Buckfast - the de rigeur drink for the Scottish alcoholic. A sampling session is imminent as the first pay day of the year is still more than a week away...



No



Losing one's edge



It's a Batty Rymer birthday Buckfast kinda ting



Wonky shit



When collaborations go fucking weird



Thursday night whine



Welcome to Hackney



Bargain business