John Waters

Director, writer and now artist, everything John Waters does is covered in a thin veneer of utter filth. His film Pink Flamingos features drag queen Divine who notoriously eats a pile of dog shit to prove how disgusting she is. It's good stuff. 

So in line with this vibe, We went to his exhibition recently at the Spruth Magers gallery in a posh part of London. The civilised surroundings most have been chosen as a sharp contract to some of the base business going on inside. Porn novels, badges, guns, more porn and a film of kids reciting his film scripts were some of the best bits... you need to wash your hands afterwards while cackling hysterically...

Thimk

'I FUCK NUNS'

Inside Super Kebab's robo kebab arm

Glastonbury Festival has a fire breathing spider called Arcadia. It's an engineering feat acknowledged with equal awe by ravers and architects up and down the land. Super Kebab at the bottom of our road, arguably the Glastonbury of takeaways, has a similar, yet much smaller robot which is no less of a technological achievement. It doesn't belch out flames or contain techno DJs. Instead it slices the elephant's leg of meat no questions asked bruv and at double quick time to satiate the needs of local drunks.

You'd think that the gents who work there would be concerned by their jobs being potentially put at risk by this new piece of equipment. But instead, they love it, as much for the amount of attention its generating as the time it saves deftly slicing meat up. Whereas before these chaps would be hacking at the meat and sweating their tits off, now they can concentrate on frying the chips and exchanging bants with the customers. It's a win win all round. We're waiting with baited breath to see whether anyone else takes up the challenge thrown down by Super Kebab. But as always, our boys are one step ahead. That's why they're the fucking best.

Super Kebab are so powerful they have invented their own time

In line with the other tourists