Down in the dam

Amsterdam - Oomph. The whole of last week was spent working there at some mad technology conference ting - and unfortunately no time was spent investing in a marathon tear up of the coffee house scene.

No matter. Despite the large buckets of work we swam through, the candle was well truly and burnt at both ends for the five day stay. Injuries, beers and schmoozing...



Night one



The colonel



Baron von Woofhousen



Music for bankers



Free flex



Raw fish and caviar in the hotel eatery



50 euros worth of Lobster thermidor - ouch



Enjoying oneself with Pringles in bed - fucked



Airport



Sanctuary



This is fucking Europe mate. We do things differently here

MOBO shake down...

The MOBOs is the annual Music of Black Origins awards - and to celebrate and build up a bit of hype in the run up to the 2010 event itself the organisers put a tour together.

We went along on the junket flex to Islington's O2 venue, which is in the shopping centre round them parts. When we got in line for the metal detector, it transpired that pretty much everyone in there was on the junket. Them peoples was astute - I'd have pitied any fool who'd had to fork out dosh from their own pockets to check some of the weakness on display.

The bill was proper boil in the bag - perennial UK try hard Donaeo looked well pissed off to have agreed to be included - and rushed through his set like a man who'd have rather have been bathing in someone else's shit than performing in that room.

Aggros Santos is supposed to be a serious contender in the game - but his miniature stature and elderly backing DJ only provoked hysterics. His performance proved to be a real low point in the evening - he leaped on stage at the exact moment the £4 pints suddenly developed the flavour of line cleaner....



The final act on the bill was Skepta - a man who used to be one the muckiest boys in grime - but has given it up for a way with a cheesey pop ting. We left before he'd even got half way through.
As a gig, the MOBOs tour was one of the worst. The pits. A sow's ear. It's one saving grace was the brief appearance of JME - and he was only on stage for one tune. Whatevs though. He made the struggle of those £4 lagers worth it. Keep your ears on him...

Ever danced to witch house in the pale moon light?

The clocks have gone back and everyone's wearing scarves. Jesus fucking h. It feels like it was shorts wearing weather only a few minutes ago but getting one's pins out now would be a well bad idea. The ever quickening movement of time's fingers now means we're condemned to months of permanent night - it's freaking dark before the end of work bell tolls. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Now that winter is fast approaching, you'll probably want summat which comes with a smile to prevent you from throwing yourself out the window. If this is the case, then you're probably best avoiding Apparat's DJ Kicks mix business.

I gave it the once over for Resident Advisor - it's a suitably intense, earnest almost emo-esque take on whatever it is which comes after dubstep - witch house innit. It's serious dance music which is difficult to dance to for serious types to get serious over. Serious.

Apparat's DJ Kicks mix

Elsewhere, I've scribbled a few other little bits and bobs for FACT's website. First is a solo ting from one of the berk's from Animal Collective. The second is from bass king Zed Bias and his housey housey alter ego. Big up...

Avery Tare - Lucky One

Maddslinky feat. Omar - Special

From the pavement to the kerb

Last week was a funny seven day session - it began, as they so often do, with a hangover. It had the crushing low of not being able to get inside Gregg's due to the continued crowds clawing at the windows. There was fish. There was drinking aplenty come Friday and Sunday. I even had the opportunity to finger £3,000. Ghetto business...



Mackerel bake - burnt



Benjamins



Kid Acne in Ninja Tunes new book - check it over here



Skint man's dinner



Posh man's lunch



Buildings and ting

Drums of Death gets it in the fridge

As the autumnal months have started to kick in, the digital quill has been given a sharpening.
I've been getting down to it for Fact and churning out some review business.

If anyone gives a shit, you can check the following by clicking on them links... Yes yes

Drums of Death - Generation Hexed

Holy Ghost! - Static on the Wire

Shortstuff - Summer of Shortstuff

Movements

In between bouts of drinking, nappy changing and oyster eating there was a house move going on over last weekend. Another compadre has left the bright lights of the smoke and headed to foreign climes. This time it's Berlin. It's a hard life int it?

To ease my guilt at repeatedly acting like the class clown I helped lug a few boxes down some stairs for the little tinker. I'm pleased I did. Otherwise the wonders of the Aladdin Sane-era Bowie image below would probably have forever remained a mystery. I think it may well be the most horrific thing I've ever seen.

Aggressive meat eating packs a punch

Turns out the quarter pounder cheese burgers from Macdonald's are pretty fresh. Especially when you eat them on the tube after nearly taking out an old lady with your bag due to being half-cut. If I could do a Cher and turn back time, I'd apologise to her. Not Cher. This woman. But I'd probably also go back a little further and have another burger. Caveman behaviours going on...