Dalston wo(men) vs Istanbul kebabs

When we told some folk we were going to Istanbul the other month, they looked at us with worry and uncertainty. You're going there? Why are you going there? This was after the recent terror attacks in the Turkish capital so I guess their concerns were warranted. But when we landed the vibe was still extremely large and in charge despite the recent traumas. There certainly weren't many Brits on the flight over and the Air BNB dude Ali (nice, decent, thorough, peculiar of gait) said the city was quieter than usual but everyone we met was totally vibes and seemed unfazed by goings on.

As such, we didn't let the recent badness piss on our chips. Instead, our trip was spent catching ferries, mooching, avoiding the hustle and zorbing between tourist spots while attempting to imbibe as many kebabs as possible. This was perhaps one of the best bits. For living in Dalston it is truly a pleasure to be surrounded by so many Turkish joints (Superkebab - I'm looking at you here babs) but this jaunt was almost a pilgrimage to the homeland of this meaty, veggie, greasy, bready treat.

We spent much of the space in between the Blue Mosque, the Hagia Sophia and Taksim Square with our gobs open noshing. Here are the best things we ate and why yo.

Fish sandwich

Not technically a kebab sure (there's nothing technical about this - it wasn't a kebab - it's a fish butty) but you still need to get this stuffed inside you. You can get them by the Galata Bridge and they come served with a pickle juice. Sit by the bins and try to eat them while avoiding the seagulls attempting to peck you to death. Yummo?  

Kasap Osman

We were on our way to the Blue Mosque when we happened upon this beauty. Recommended by our man Joe Todd we hadn't even had breakfast before taking it on. And why not? If you're not averaging two kebabs a day, then you're behaving incorrectly. 

Zübeyir

We had to go down a street full of men smoking and drinking to find this place but don't let that put you off or distract you. It's a truly wonderful place where they even gave our kebab a little hat made out of bread. Whoops... 

THIS KEBAB IS A TRICK

This was served up on the main tourist drag of Istikal Street and was a trick you should not fall for. You see these young men slicking up loads of delicious looking meat from the elephants legs on display. But when you go over and ask for one, they go round the back and serve you one of these things. It's about 50p sure but fam, where's the meat yo? 

Hamdi Kebab

This joint is towards the southern end of the Galata Bridge and is elevated. So, if heights are your bag, you can grab a great view of Istanbul. It was raining when we went in so you couldn't see fuck all but no matter, the meat was top class. There were a lot of old turks in here with trophy wives which suggests it's could be a classy establishment. Get yourself in there...

We used this as a guide - plus special props to Joe Todd for the encouragement.

It's Contra Pop!

Hands up who know where Ramsgate is? Anyone? Well we definitely didn't until we heard about the Contra Pop Festival, a free musical bash taking place just near the pier in this weird coastal town somewhere in deepest, darkest Essex. The line up was certainly ear provoking enough to make it worth the journey east to a town which managed to mix up the run down with the weird to suitably bizarre effect. Here are some of the things we learned in our eight hours in Ramsgate...

Golliwogs are rife

Everywhere we turned,there appeared to be a golliwog staring back at us. While the rest of the UK has smoked these out, it seems that they've all flocked to Ramsgate as they believe there's safety in numbers.

Ramsgate's grappers cough up the goods

Everywhere else we've ever been, the grappers never, never ever cough up a fluffy tour or cannon or whatever it is you're seeking. But in Ramsgate we managed to get a doughnut. A fucking doughnut!

The fish is delish

Cod and chips - fucking tasty as fam.

Bass Clef

This Bristol producer managed to blend weird ambience. brass instruments and thumping techno more reminiscent of Berghain than the seaside. The sunbathing locals seemed suitably bemused.  

Lo-Fi 

The knees up - ramshackle

Waiting for another IPA

It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys

The end of 2014 disappeared in a blizzard of beers and nocturnal hi-jinks. We've managed to balance a healthy new found love of drag with a relentless quest for the ultimate fried breakfast and beige meal. As you can tell from some of these images from the fag end of last year, beige can come in a wide range of shapes and sizes. You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. 

The last breakfast at Berners Street

Wombling

Hello mrs bones

London' poppies

Fish fingers and feta together at last

Doing a Mary Berry

Healthy kick

Morph

Kedgeree flex

Ace Hotel hype

Living the life

espresso martinied

A beige feast of disgusting proportions

balloons

Our office is so fly we don't even have kettles

Mummy!

It's cold outside

happiness

posh offal

Peaches watching Ru Paul's Drag Race

sauerkraut

Watching a fish take a long, striingy dump

Fam

do your bit

Best friends