Send a salami to your boy in the army

Writing tings has been on the agenda during the last week or so... Gone in hard on the new faces of UK funky, when in fact they might not even be from the UK.

JTPR are German, on Deep Teknologi, and make seriously tough music. This is muscular in the extreme while Hackman is from Leeds and makes chunky house business

JTPR FACT website review

Hackman Made up My Mind

French dudes Baron Retif & Concepcion Perez also made the cut on a more Parisian kitchen sink sort of flex.

Baron Retif & Concepcion Perez - Superman review HYPONIK

Fun hurts

February has already proved to be A LOT and we're only in week one. Injuries to the ears, eyes, hands, fingers and buttocks have been sustained. We've got a massive, fuck off new telly which required some massive, fuck offf heavy lifting to get it inside. Lift with your buttocks. Elsewhere Throbbing Gristle members Chris and Cosey did a gig down at the ICA - Although the music was challenging, one of the best new discoveries is ordering 2.5 pints at a time instead of just the one. This way you have a half to savour while the barkeep is pouring the other two. It makes sense.



Massive fuck off tv ting



Bed time reading



Baked



Chris and Cosey



Wary



Fun hurts



New culinary horizons



bangers



Crack 'em



Package



Naughty naughty



brekkers



Gnarly

Spuddha enters the mix and comes up smiling

Phewie. Unbolt the doors and lift up your blinds. January has left the building for another year. So see ya later you old nag. This one has been one of the worst due to the massive mood swings. They've ranged between intergalactic highs to all-consumingly bleak lows and swung like some sort of chemically unbalanced pendulum - And, as such, the exit to the month was almost too similar to the entry - cast in a shadow of self doubt and mental unease. Thankfully it's now February and normal service has been resumed. Until we beach ourselves upon another weekend of little sleep and maximum vibes.

To enhance the sunniness of starting the second month of the year our boy Spud dropped this lovely italo mix on us all the way from Sheffield. In his words this sort of tackle "makes me happy as fuck". He's not wrong. Big up February. Rabbits. Vibes. Vibes.

Spud - Disco Diamonds part 2 (italo mix) by Spuddha

Check out more of Spuddha's business on his soundcloud over here

Top shelf material

You know when a tune is so ludicrous and OTT that you can't help but totally fall for it. Well the brilliantly named Wolfgang Gartner has done just that. I don't know what kind of drugs he took to dream up Space Junk but I want to try them. Wolfgang. Take me to your dealer.

Animal clobber in the '011

Having a younger sibling who has a better job than you, who earns more money than you, is capable of holding down a relationship and just doing all the normal shit that adults do can be a bit of a bummer. That's if you dwell on it for too long. Or compare yourself to them. The best course of action is to not think about it all and try and piggy back on their success. My sister works at the zoo and basically runs tings in the gift shop. This is great as it means you receive animal-related gifts all the time and free trips to go and leer at the anteaters. Big. It also means she gets to pick and choose the stock and receives weird shit sent to her by those looking to get their merch on the shelves. These wonderful tee shirts were rejected. I don't know why.



Steeze



Dreads



Hell's angel



Spliffhead



Rudolph goes rogue



Mutley

Keep the vibe alive

The end of January has been strong. Dancing to Ignition next to a dude in a wheelchair on a late school night was big - Singing a terrifying rendition of Two Can Play That Game at a local karoake house was big but on more deviant tip. Asparagus has been everywhere while djing at a 30th (birthday vibes to Dan) was also large. This is a small snapshot. Total vibes...



Fearful



Want



Standard



What the dickens?



Mixing shit up



Aspirational tea



Rave



Conk flex



Ignition



Dal flex



Squire



The first of many new vices



Shame



Breakfast

#Notenuffparking

Review business has been going on in between hangovers and finding a new flatmate - It's been hectic but Mums of Death have taken your arcade memories and given them an airhorn.

Check this Fact review here

Elsewhere J-Rocc does something over than hip hop here while Roska Roska Roska and Toddla T get together for a sweaty bassline union to create Toddska - review here - check the video below... Party down at Corsica in Elephant and Castle this Friday - Not enough parking for your 4x4 - take the Rav4 instead...