5 lessons we learned in February

February's vibe was proper with time spent veering from running away from hangovers to just generally running. We've got a marathon in Manchester in April and an integral part of the training regime is to not have a hangover on the day itself. By some sort of backwards calculating, this should make running 26.2 miles easy, especially after training with a hangover for three months. As Craig David would say, 'drink like a fish, eat like a pig, train like a fairy'.

What else have we learnt?

FKA Twigs live is shite

We went to London's Roundhouse and spent the best part of the gig waiting for her to play a tune. She spent most of it dancing around and pouting. We were left disappointed.

Abbey Road Studios is not shite

We went with work to delve around in a studio at Abbey Road Studios with a mastering engineer. This isn't a euphemism for something 'torture gardens'. We spoke to this dude who it turns out is the fella who mastered New Order's Blue Monday. Fact.

Made in Chelsea actors are just like you and me. Almost

If you watch Channel 4's Made in Chelsea you're either posh and like watching fellow poshoes act posh or you hate posh people and want to find out how to destroy them. We were wandering through M&S enroute to watch Twigs and saw Jamie from Made in Chelsea rummaging through the sandwiches. Just like a normal person who's had four pints on the way home and is already done for. The only thing that made him look like a total cunt were his shoes, woven from the souls of poor people. What a cunt.

Market research can be lucrative

February's Wednesdays were spent discussing the finder points of desserts and coffee machines. Couldn't give a toss about either really but for £200 I will. Kerching.

Walkers have upped the game of crisps

Monster munch, French Fries, Wotsits and Doritoes all in the same bag. That's some game changing shit right there fam.

Take it like a man

The back of Jamie from Made in Chelsea, aka Posh Cunt

FKA Twigs not playing any tunes

Hello

Possibly the best record ever made? 

'Work'

Choosing between bombs

Monday emergency breakfast injection

Pon de plate

Our road. At dusk. 

Future crisps vibes