Showing posts with label running. Show all posts
Showing posts with label running. Show all posts

Friday, 29 April 2016

We're gonna run tings. Again



Well it's that time of year when the clarion call of a 26.2 mile hoof around somewhere, somehow seems too hard to resist. This time my chosen locale to sweat, bleed and possibly cry is Liverpool, meaning on Sunday 29 May you'll be able to witness my mental and physical breakdown on its streets. Training has been long and, as per, at times, devastatingly hungover but no matter, we plod on. And on. And on. And on.

I'm endeavouring to raise some dosh for the Refugee Council as part of the trial. Myself and Craggsy ran for them last year when we tackled the Manchester Marathon so it seems good form to continue the tradition and try and do something nice for once.

You can check oot my JustGiving page here. There's not much happening at the moment but, as the tortoise said, slow and steady wins, or at least finishes, the race. At some point. Capise?





Sunday, 15 March 2015

Manchester marathon

Uh oh. Yep it's happening again. Running. Myself and henchman Craggs are doing the Manchester Marathon in a few weeks and have decided that it might be nice to try and raise some money while we're doing it. Training has really upped the ante of late with the latest one at 20 miles. It makes the inevitable post run binge drink even more chaotic...

If you're feeling fruity or generous, here's the link - https://www.justgiving.com/JimandCragg - and here's the 411...

What's better than the sight of one bespectacled beanpole slogging their guts round 26.2 miles? The answer is of course: two bespectacled beanpoles slogging their guts round 26.2 miles. This year's Manchester Marathon will be a grudge match between Jim and Cragg to see who'll be first to fling themselves over the finish line and into the waiting arms of the St John's Ambulance service (or nearest Wetherspoons). Jim is the current Marathon Record Holder with a PB of 3hrs 52 mins, whilst Cragg is on the leaderboard with 3hrs 57 mins... Will we hold hands over the finish line, or spend the last miles trying to trip each other up to snatch the crown? Only time will tell...

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

5 lessons we learned in February



February's vibe was proper with time spent veering from running away from hangovers to just generally running. We've got a marathon in Manchester in April and an integral part of the training regime is to not have a hangover on the day itself. By some sort of backwards calculating, this should make running 26.2 miles easy, especially after training with a hangover for three months. As Craig David would say, 'drink like a fish, eat like a pig, train like a fairy'.

What else have we learnt?

FKA Twigs live is shite

We went to London's Roundhouse and spent the best part of the gig waiting for her to play a tune. She spent most of it dancing around and pouting. We were left disappointed.

Abbey Road Studios is not shite

We went with work to delve around in a studio at Abbey Road Studios with a mastering engineer. This isn't a euphemism for something 'torture gardens'. We spoke to this dude who it turns out is the fella who mastered New Order's Blue Monday. Fact.

Made in Chelsea actors are just like you and me. Almost

If you watch Channel 4's Made in Chelsea you're either posh and like watching fellow poshoes act posh or you hate posh people and want to find out how to destroy them. We were wandering through M&S enroute to watch Twigs and saw Jamie from Made in Chelsea rummaging through the sandwiches. Just like a normal person who's had four pints on the way home and is already done for. The only thing that made him look like a total cunt were his shoes, woven from the souls of poor people. What a cunt.

Market research can be lucrative

February's Wednesdays were spent discussing the finder points of desserts and coffee machines. Couldn't give a toss about either really but for £200 I will. Kerching.

Walkers have upped the game of crisps

Monster munch, French Fries, Wotsits and Doritoes all in the same bag. That's some game changing shit right there fam.

Take it like a man

The back of Jamie from Made in Chelsea, aka Posh Cunt

FKA Twigs not playing any tunes

Hello

Possibly the best record ever made? 

'Work'

Choosing between bombs

Monday emergency breakfast injection

Pon de plate

Our road. At dusk. 

Future crisps vibes

Saturday, 22 November 2014

Chowing down on the Big Apple


New Yawk! The home town of Peter Venkman, Jay-Z and backdrop to a million movie moments was the target of our latest jaunt across the high seas. This first journey to the Big Apple was powered by a work bonus and the flogging of belongings at car boots with the final aim of taking in three days of sights and watching my sibling run the city's marathon.


It began, as many classic holiday adventures do, with a red eye inducing taxi and a trip to Wetherspoons. As we were travelling in one of Branston's swanky aeronautical vehicles, we had free bloody mary's and Kate Bush on the stereo for the whole journey. A bout of heavy boozing was interspersed by trying to get revenge on the girl sitting in front of us who insisted on putting her eat as far back as possible. 'Who does that?' Her punishment was getting bits of salad strategically dropped into her hair. Seven hours later we arrived in Newark slightly drunk and classically confused as we attempted to work out how to get from one side of the city to Bushwick in Brooklyn on the other. Big up the seventy dollars and the generosity of one old dude who led us through the subway system. Without you we'd still be there.


We were staying at the New York Loft Hostel, a place where the website's photos manage to do an incredible job of concealing just how tiny and dark the rooms are. But no matter, we only needed them to kip in as most of our time was spent skulking the streets like real life, grown up tourists. Bushwick, it turns out, was the London east end equivalent of Hackney Wick, all factories being turned into gourmet restaurants and big apartments. Amidst the businesses and factories still doing their hard clanking, were plenty of organic cafes and 'funky' boozers. Classic gentrified fingers getting stuck into urban pie. Our first evening out, coincidently also Halloween, was spent chasing the local booze scene rather than dressing up in outlandish and scary attire. The most frightening thing that happened other than encountering loads of bell ends dressed in silly hats was eating a pair of pig cheeks. Yum yum.


Our Saturday was a day of hoofing around Manhattan after taking the L train onto the island and slugging it out in the driving, biblical rain. It was pure vibes though as at every block or turn you walk into another iconic landmark that knocks yer bloody socks off pal. The buildings and ting certainly get your gob heading towards the floor as, if there's ever a place that makes you feel small, it's here. You're physically dwarfed by all these huge, shimmering skyscrapers and massive fuck off towers. We saw a whole range of shit to get your knickers in a twist including the Grand Central Station, the New York Public Library, Flat Iron Building and the Empire State Building before ending up in Central Park for a pint and a Jewish deli for a dock off butty. These sarnies are overflowing with cheap meat, Jabba the Hutt like in their dimensions and impossible to bite into in one go. Perfect.


After a brief nap, we were out again, this time in Williamsburg. The Alligator Lounge was our home for much of the evening due to the cheapness of their ale, British electronic soundtrack and free pizza. We did go somewhere else but then came back to the lounge for what was our final (and possibly 12th or 13th) pint as it was by far the cheapest and least cuntiest place of the lot. Bit like the Marquis in Dalston. Why did we stay up for so long? Blame it on the jet lag motherfuckers.

Sunday was marathon day and like every time my sibling runs summat and receives a promise to go and be watched, we slept in and got there late. But, after a corn dog, a walk, a sandwich and some frantic phone calls, we connected and went for some terrible scran in a shitty eaterie called Route 66. Artichokes and cheese is one weird ass dish one should try and avoid at all costs, particularly as the shit they cook it in sticks to your gizzards like cement. But big up to the water man. He must have served us a gallon of that nice cold shit. Big up to the sis for getting round those 26.2 mile in a deep cold after getting up at 5am to reach the start. Scary, yet inspiring shit. The evening was spent n the delightful environs of Greenwich Village, checking out gay bars including The Stonewall Inn (old and beary) and the cabaret drenched Duplex (younger, less beary) before we went to Cafe Wah. This was an underground basement with a live house band doing everything from Adele to Stevie Wonder. It was so dark I spilt wax all down my pins. Standard.


Monday was our final day on road, for one last great big round of sight taking in - Brooklyn Bridge, the Staten Island ferry, Ground Zero, Wall Street, scran in Tribeca and the High Line (a railway line turned rural path) all got taken down before some more pints and an early night in preparation for our another red eye return flight. There was much mooching, much dranking and much looking at shit and going 'wooooooo'..  Safe holiday vibes up inside the place... and props to the team. Big Apple we'll be seeing you again one day, hopefully once it gets a bit warmer...


Head over here for a full Flickr set of photos of NYC buildings and the occasional meal...

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Thanks


It's been over three weeks since the London Marathon and against all the odds I didn't shit myself or fail to make it all the way round. In fact, it was all done and dusted within 3 hours and 52 minutes - there was a lot of sweat, a lot of groaning, some serious swearing and a weird wee within the first half a mile where my penis appeared to be inflating with wee rather than acting as a conduit for its extraction. No matter, it's done and that's that. Thanks to everyone who sponsored me, watched me, shouted at us with words of encouragement, trained with us, helped us raise dosh, and greeted us at the finish line with some fags and Kronenberg. Beer and cigs are a great combo but they never tasted better than they did then...

The fundraising page will be open for a wee bit longer if you'd still like to throw some dosh into the ring.


Sunday, 30 March 2014

The last plea


As you may know from previous posts I’m running the London marathon in April. In fact in 14 days I'll be there in me ever so tight running vest squealing breathlessly in pain. Please revel in that image...

This is the last update/plea before I shut up banging on about running. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

I've wangled a place in this gruel-a-thon via a small north London charity known as Kith and Kids. They do mint work supporting young adults and kids with a learning disability or autism to overcome their social exclusion and learn new skills via weekly club and projects. You can check out more of their business on their website here.

 I'm aiming to raise £1,500 to in aid of the charity and I'm close (within sniffing distance if one flares the nostrils) so if you can/feel the urge please donate a little money via the link below. It would be greatly appreciated...

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/JimOttewill 

Thursday, 20 March 2014

You've had a top night yo - here's five reasons why


At the fag end of February, we hosted our We Run Tings club night. The do was thrown to raise money for my London Marathon effort in April and props to everyone involved. Although slightly chaotic and drunken we had a top time and woke up the next day totally dazed and confused. When I opened my eyes and looked around, I knew it'd been a good do for five keys reasons. I've compiled them below just in case you've got up after a large one and you're just not sure whether you had a boom time or not...

1. Waking up with blood on the face - classic pre-London marathon training regime in full effect. Don't ask where it's come from. Just make sure it comes off.
2. Benjamins in the bed - fundraising must have gone aight.
3. Boots in the bed - one was so relaxed after the night's festivities that one couldn't be arsed taking the boots off. Winner.
4. Car keys to beamer in front room - 'literally' no idea who this person is. Who drives a beamer anyway? Who leaves them in a basement club full of pissed people?
5. Snotty arms - who needs tissues when it's Saturday night. Use your arms you fucking pussy

Benjamins

Boots

Keys

Snot

Friday, 7 February 2014

Kiss the Fist present; We Run Tings


To help us hit this marathon fundraising target, we're throwing a party. All proceeds go to the running fund innit... Check the spiel below;

We Run Tings - feat. KTF Allstars (Ashley Bibble, Jill Nando, Jimpotent),

Pat Mandu,

Brother 2 Brother…

Playing yacht rock, italo, disco, rave,

Saturday - February 22nd Marquis of Lansdowne's Basement - Kingsland Road, Dalston.

9 until 2 - £4 in...

It’s February and 2014 is all over us like a disgusting, rabid bear. It’s been grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrizzzzly.

To welcome the new year, the ever-so slightly longer days and Jill’s recent lottery win, we’ve decided to reanimate the skanky corpse of electronic disco party Kiss the Fist.

The original team of Domination3000, Jill Nando and Jimpotent are back on speaking terms after coming to blows last summer over the ownership of a bag of piss porn - all it took to get the band back together was a hit of amyl, a firm handshake and a side order of hot wings.

After bringing in New Year’s eve with a rabble rousing night of Hi-NRG, italo, wedding disco and yacht rock at Clapton’s latest gentrified grief hole the Crooked Billet, we’ve decided to do it all over again in the guts of our favourite boozer, the Marquis of Lansdowne.

This one is a ‘benefit gala’ with all monies raised on the door going to Jimpotent’s marathon fund. The twerp is attempting to run the London Marathon in April and raise £1,500 for charity Kith and Kids.

If you’re feeling sorry for him, then you can donate on his page here - http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/JimOttewill - if not, you can come down to the Marquis of Lansdowne’s basement on Saturday 22 February, egg him and get your freak on in our charity disco.

Joining us will be our chums Pat Mandu, Bob Funkhouse and Danny M - these long-term friends of Kiss the Fist will be bringing large buckets of additional vibe and hot sonics to our soiree. Pat is big in the game, being addicted to speakers and played with Andy Blake – Danny M does tings in Leeds and Bob is well good at drinking Kronenberg.

Come down and get firmly involved…

Friday, 17 January 2014

Running tings in the London Marathon


More talk, more action has been a maxim round our way for some time after we got sick of chatting big but never following through. The ultimate bit of action (without jumping off a cliff or shooting someone in the ass) is to go out and run the London marathon. So this year, I'm following in the illustrious footsteps of Gordon Ramsey and Katherine Jenkins, strapping on the short shorts and giving it a fucking go.

As anyone who's been following my behaviour vicariously through this blog over time may guess, I've been hungover for about 20 years so this could be the end of me. Fingers crossed I live to tell the tale as runners who die probably don't get to donate their money to their charity of choice. And it would be a real shame if the £1,500 I'm hoping to rustle up for Kith and Kids doesn't reach them.

Kith and who you say? Not 'kissing kids' (although that's unfortunately how it sounds when you tell people).  Well Kith and Kids do amazing work supporting young adults and kids with a learning disability or autism to overcome their social exclusion and learn new skills via weekly clubs and projects.

You can check out more of their business on their website here;

http://www.kithandkids.org.uk  

I've been struggling in to the Sunday clubs with a hangover for the last couple of years as well as kicking a football with their soccer team so this feels like a good way to thank them for all the vibes from up in Tottenham. 

Want to donate and help me raise the dosh? Nice one - click here and visit my Just Giving page innit... 

Monday, 2 December 2013

Run for your lives


In Stephen King's the Running Man, Ben Richards has to escape his hunters. He can go anywhere in the world and in the film, Arnie Schwarzenegger plays the protagonist romping through a storyfull of high camp, drama and sexplosions. Running the Birmingham half marathan was almost nothing like it.

Indeed there were no explosions and little in the way of high camp but Brum is undoubtedly a total vibe due to the proper normality of everything and the lack of gentrified pubs stuffed with idiots wearing silly hats (like London). We landed in the city far too early, had to get changed in an icy car park and then spent 15 minutes tooing and froing between toilets before huffing and puffing our way around the city for the 13.1 miles. The pint at the finish line was one of the tastiest of the year thus far. Life-affirming stuff in the west midlands...

Caterpillar - first of the season


Bumbag crew - not balearic

At the finishhhh

Thursday, 25 July 2013

Running tings


Running doesn't seem like a very dreamy act. But when you're on the canter, there's a certain amount of soul searching with every step. And the longer you go, the deeper it gets. Eek. Some writers have documented it - like Haruki Murakami and his tome What I Talk About When I Talk About Running  or The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner by Alan Sillitoe are like real intellectual works about the nuts and bolts of getting a wriggle on.

In keeping with these great motivators, my main preoccupations while trotting about have included Macdonald cheeseburgers, kebabs, pints of Kronenburg and cigarettes - plus the extistential meanderings of where are those football socks. Where are they?

Indeed it was the thought of a pint and a fry up which kept me mentally meandering while taking on the glamour and the glitz of the Shrewsbury Half Marathon.

We made it in time on the Sunday to binge on bananas before running around this very grotty place for less than two hours in the pissing down rain. Vibes. Greasy eggs and beer have never tasted so sweet...

Berty Big Bollocks

Yes mum

Fuck you Shrewsbury

Pre-run prep
Pre-run prep

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

I'll have a half please mate


Physical feats of endurance aren't something that anyone reading this blog thinks goes on regularly for its author. And to be fair, the only ones that really came to pass were 'no kip' sessions which had us hibernating for a week and avoiding the outside in fear of being recognised. However, of late you'd be (mildy) surprised. We're not talking doing bench presses, lifting weights or throwing shotputs. Or even star jumps which are fucking impossible if coordination isn't your thing.

But I did sign up to do a half marathon earlier on in the year to rather churlihsly prove a point than doing anything nice like raise money for charideee. The whole process was actually (surprisingly) enjoyable apart from the day-before-pre-match nerves. It feels like the day before a very important exam. And one which, frustratingly, you can't binge drink your way through. Anyhoo it got nailed in less than two hours and no one got hurt. The likes of Peter Cragg, Joe Todd and Dan Shone are actual men cos they nailed proper ones. Props to them. And here's some proof I didn't come a cropper...

Wearing the furry yellow gloves

Pain

Proof