5 things we learned about grime godfather Wiley from reading Eskiboy

UK grime would be a much more boring place without Wiley. 

His musical releases might be erratic but his behaviour is entertainingly so, from leaking huge Zip Files of music to slagging off Glastonbury ('Fuck your farm') and uploading YouTube videos of him making his breakfast, there are fewer weirder personalities in grime. Or at least, if there are, they keep it under wraps for fear of losing fans. But not Wiley. He lets it all hang out in the best way possible. So if you read his new Eskiboy biog, then you'll be unsurprised to discover that this is all over the place too.

He compares himself to football clubs and martial arts experts within the same paragraph... 

'I was like Ajax. Ajax train players. It's nuts. They put time into people, they work them hard. And then they sell them. That's something that I have done. And no other musician has. But I was just helping people. I didn't expect anything from it. I don't take anything from them. I don't sell them. I'm like a Kung Fu master.'

Sting helped inspire him 

'Eskimo Dance used to be mad. It used to be properly underground. It all came from Sting you know.'

He spent a lot of money (according to his sister) 

'One day he called me from Manchester. I need you to pay our hotel bill. It's a lot. £48,000. He'd taken over a whole floor of the Hilton in Manchester for a week.'

He is an efficient multi-tasker (according to Scratchy)

'Recently we were out in Cyprus and even just driving down the road with him was hilarious. He was on his phone and he was eating, drinking some kind of slushy red daiquiri thing and bombing down the road with the boot of his car flying open. I was looking at him juggling this ridiculous ice drink in one hand with chips in his mouth and he just looked at me like, 'What?'

He's into roast dinners

'Yorkshire pudding, my god.'

Someone needs to give this man his own TV show...

We can help each other - can we find a way Eskiboy?

Wiley is a real nutbar. If you have the pleasure of following the man on Twitter, you'll be aware of just how fucking nutty he is. This dude is a bone fide pop star with a string of top ten singles lying in his wake. But he cannot stop sparking on Twitter about philosophical concepts ranging from toast to trust. This mixture of real-time chart success and real-time talk makes him a real-time hero. There aren't enough 'artists' smacking the charts around the chops with big singles while still being totally bonkers. I love him and can't get enough of his tunes and the drivel he spouts.



The man maybe mad but he has 'nuff tunes. 'Nuff parking. We went down to check him oot on his recent Elusive Tour, which has been rescheduled more times than I've had fry ups this year. But the talent is a temperamental beast - this is a dude who sacked his manager, left his label and gave away hours of tunes via zip file last year. Earlier in the week tweets were talking of sacking the tour manager but thankfully, when we got into the venue a little bit pissed up, he bounded out on the stage with a mike and no manager in a headlock under his arm.



A Wiley gig itself is fucking loud - backed by a child on the decks, the music was all taut and wonk, full of grime and ear shredding in volume. The ciders, the sea of camera phones and the hits made for an evening of total high energy. JME did his muscley Nando's loving ting earlier, prompting us to shout 'Where's yer fox at?' Plus the encore featuring Jamie, Jammer and Skepta was off the bloody chain. His album drops in the summer but this mint video came out the day after (it's streaming on the Guardian's website). Big tings? Big tings indeed.

Would you risk it for a chocolate biscuit?

Wiley has long been a talking point round our way. His twitter feed is on point while his unwillingness to compromise is legendary. No one else who's sold SO MANY records would be willing to give it away for free. His self belief is enviable but he also comes across as a genuinely normal dude. The sort of dude who films himself making egg and toast and sticks it on the internet is the sort of the dude I'd like to be friends with. This shit is unreal. Game changing.

'You've got to appreciate the egg and soldiers. You must never forget that. Trust me.'

I love this guy so much. He's supposedly touring in April the week before the London Marathon. If he just turns up and boils an egg, I'll be more than content...