Two men vs a pot of gherkins

During Tuesday nights at the fag end of winter you have to make your own fun. Skintness has descended like a murky fog, your guts hurt from overegging the boozey pudding at the weekend and there's nowt on the telly.

The only thing for it is to get on the bike, get to Lidl and buy a kilo jar of gherkins. These vegs are the most phallic tings I've ever seen. Like a jar full of pickled nobs from the 16th century that eccentric diary keepers would host on their desks for inspiration. Difficult to get into let me tell you...

Saga Africa launch bagel delight

Post zoo over da weekend was not as animal fuelled but still suitably savage. We headed straight down from Camden to Shoreditch for a deliciously metrosexual cocktail (it's all about the confidence) before nipping over the road to the Legion for the Saga Africa compilation launch party.

Put together by Radioclit, the record is a collection of artistes born out of the Very Best. Unbelieveably the dudes on the compilation manage to coerce the sonics of afro-house and house electronics into surprisingly fresh sounding bedfellows. Thankfully the vibe is much more hype end gutter than Womad.

So the compilation is ace, and despite the Legion being populated by too many twats to mention and particularly pricey drinks, most of the night was hanging off the chain. The first two dudes, Douster and Myd, absolutely slayed it. Tropical house with drops deep enough to drown in...

This is some of the tackle they were fronting. I'm bouncing on the poof in our front room while I'm laying this verby shit down - it brings the taste of overpriced Sailor Jerry's and coke straight back...







The last dude Lazy Flow was a slightly different kettle of French fish. He rocked up in a flat cap sporting a chain straight out of Barley, then proceeded to bully his mates off the decks with his silly set up. The young cocker acted like a right tool for the rest of the eve - he played the Ghostbusters theme, then insisted the camera man dude catch a great shot of a slice of staged mix. Grow up mate.



Eyeing up bagels post Legion



Lazyflow ensures the camera points the lens at him



Lazyflow in da mix - note Barley chain. Nob.



Lazyflow bullies better dj off the decks



No room for the ego