Monday, 6 October 2014

Can you feel my balls?

‘FOOTBALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL’ – ‘LADS’ – ‘UP THE GOAL - REFEREE - OOOOOOH SHITTTT AHHHHHHHHH’ are the chants you might possibly hear of a weekend ringing around the fitba stadiums of this green and unpleasant land.

The season of the ball is now upon us like a Gary Liniker-fronted rash, but we managed to pre-empt the hoolabaloo, the chatter and the froth by visiting the Arsenal back at the start of August. Oh yes we were to be found drinking watered down pints at an early hour in preparation for the big match like only the seasoned fan can. Let me tell you the Emirates stadium is a bit like a prison, where you can only eat shit (burgers), drink p1ss (Carlsberg) and can’t smoke. Fascists. Despite this abundance of rules, we still managed to have a cracking time at the game. But jesus wept, just give us somewhere we can enjoy a gasper. Be human! It’s only a game!

Really getting into the sporting spirit