Monday 3 October 2011

Once upon a time in the West - Toronto part uno



Many great trips have humble beginnings - and for some folk there ain't nothing more humble than 'slumming it' in a Wetherspoons before boarding a flight to somewhere nice. I'd go as far as saying there's nowt more satisfying than a fried breakfast and a pint of Stella before taking on an adventure. And the more like a 'spoons it is, the better. So it was when we went to Canada in the middle of September. It ain't a real 'spoons but the boozer in Heathrow's Terminal does a very good impression.

Ostenibly this trip to the North Americas was for work purposes - a financial conference - but the whole endeavour was taken in through eyes both wild, wide and wandering. Not least cos I hit 30 while we were out there. And enjoyed about four hours sleep on the Friday before having to get up to make it to the airport to board our flight the following morning.

Despite this, right from the get go, it was pure shits and giggles. This was the first time I'd voyaged across the Atlantic so I was especially delirious from the off.

Events unfolded in a haphazard, yet spectacular way - we got shitted on the plane over. Then hit up Hooters. On Sunday we whooped at a baseball match. Then I journeyed up the CN Tower with my eyes closed in the evening, where we drank fine wines and sucked on oysters. Much of the week's evenings were spent working - then followed by attempts to drown ourselves in jager bombs. And almost drowning ourselves in hot wings.

These are the first set of images charting the highs and lows which went down in advance of reaching the dirty thirties. Expect more blurry snapshots of food, beers and wheezing. Big up Air Canada. Big up the accomplices. You can't test the team!



The first pint - Saturday morning - 10ish in the am - 'beater



Our transport. A Boeing. Natch.



Microwaveable roast - delectable



Sophisticated consumption at altitude



More sophistication. More altitude



The least sophisticated consumer on the flight



Have you ever shipped a goat?



Hungry for the power



Empties



First jager bomb. In Hooters.



Half of the first 50 hot wings. They look like the claws of crabs



The naughty CN Tower sneeking a peak



A fuck off screen in a fuck off sports bar



LADS



Hooters



Bats and ting



Beer one



Beer 2 - crack 'em



Beer 3 - yes yes



Beer 4 - bleurgh



Man-sized Red Bull



Dogs all round



Dog face



Lift-based japes



Get me another dog



Oysters - up the CN Tower



Scared at the top of the CN Tower



The people look like ants



Higher than I've ever been before



Bear - at the bottom of the CN Tower



You'll never get me up there again



Gin and Tonics



Canadian beer



Hotel window - pre-conference



Shit solo meal - only receipted item of the trip



Sports bar flex



Again



Last hot wings of the 20s



Ready



Ooh-er



Hot wings emporium



Free booze



Sock it to me



Drunk



Catwalk show on final evening of the conference