Monday, 3 October 2011

Once upon a time in the West - Toronto part uno

Many great trips have humble beginnings - and for some folk there ain't nothing more humble than 'slumming it' in a Wetherspoons before boarding a flight to somewhere nice. I'd go as far as saying there's nowt more satisfying than a fried breakfast and a pint of Stella before taking on an adventure. And the more like a 'spoons it is, the better. So it was when we went to Canada in the middle of September. It ain't a real 'spoons but the boozer in Heathrow's Terminal does a very good impression.

Ostenibly this trip to the North Americas was for work purposes - a financial conference - but the whole endeavour was taken in through eyes both wild, wide and wandering. Not least cos I hit 30 while we were out there. And enjoyed about four hours sleep on the Friday before having to get up to make it to the airport to board our flight the following morning.

Despite this, right from the get go, it was pure shits and giggles. This was the first time I'd voyaged across the Atlantic so I was especially delirious from the off.

Events unfolded in a haphazard, yet spectacular way - we got shitted on the plane over. Then hit up Hooters. On Sunday we whooped at a baseball match. Then I journeyed up the CN Tower with my eyes closed in the evening, where we drank fine wines and sucked on oysters. Much of the week's evenings were spent working - then followed by attempts to drown ourselves in jager bombs. And almost drowning ourselves in hot wings.

These are the first set of images charting the highs and lows which went down in advance of reaching the dirty thirties. Expect more blurry snapshots of food, beers and wheezing. Big up Air Canada. Big up the accomplices. You can't test the team!

The first pint - Saturday morning - 10ish in the am - 'beater

Our transport. A Boeing. Natch.

Microwaveable roast - delectable

Sophisticated consumption at altitude

More sophistication. More altitude

The least sophisticated consumer on the flight

Have you ever shipped a goat?

Hungry for the power


First jager bomb. In Hooters.

Half of the first 50 hot wings. They look like the claws of crabs

The naughty CN Tower sneeking a peak

A fuck off screen in a fuck off sports bar



Bats and ting

Beer one

Beer 2 - crack 'em

Beer 3 - yes yes

Beer 4 - bleurgh

Man-sized Red Bull

Dogs all round

Dog face

Lift-based japes

Get me another dog

Oysters - up the CN Tower

Scared at the top of the CN Tower

The people look like ants

Higher than I've ever been before

Bear - at the bottom of the CN Tower

You'll never get me up there again

Gin and Tonics

Canadian beer

Hotel window - pre-conference

Shit solo meal - only receipted item of the trip

Sports bar flex


Last hot wings of the 20s



Hot wings emporium

Free booze

Sock it to me


Catwalk show on final evening of the conference