Saturday, 31 October 2009

Modeselektor vs Fabric vs Wetherspoons

Thursday October 22nd - BNP buffoon Nick Griffin’s leery mug is scratching itself across Tvs nationwide and Fabric is open for business - vive le super club and its own special protest. The world may have gone mad for the BNP hype but we’d removed ourselves from the political equation by opting for snacking on a ‘large one‘. Says muchos lotos about our take on the ‘media furore' don't it.

Being a school night and all, we didn’t want to get too bashy… but by the time we’d convened at Wetherspoons in Farringdon it was almost too late. Some frenzied chicken jerking in E8, a Heineken, boogaloo and bus ride and suddenly all bets were most definitely out of the window - or at least in the pint pot and being downed at a rapid rate. The first round in ‘spoons cost £16, which anyone with even a passing interest in their reasonable rates will realise is fairly horrifying.

After watching Griffin’s ‘sweating sex offender’ vibes on the box in ‘spoons with the subtitles on, we rumbled off to Fabrish with the collective bi(f)t(a) between our teeth, working a lairy flex through Farringdon - Boo yacka boo yacka - Amped up to the gills on night juice, we were readier than perhaps a quartet of large time loving twats with work the next day have ever been.

Landing at the club and the anticipated hoardes were not in evidence - London crew the Patchwork Pirates were on playing minimal dubstep to a half empty room and the Stella was expensive. It must cost a lot to pay for the silver trays they insist on serving your change on in there. I’m not after table service - I just want to stick the foamy liquid in my mouth and down my front. Whatevs, by the time the lights went up for Modeselektor, we’d endowed enough of said foamy shit to see a vibe all unwholesome and glistening… and the people had come. Hold tight...

The pair were bang into it - Gernot Bronsert was all Morph from Tony Hart’s show - gurning, limbs waggling while Sebastian Szary partner crime was more restrained - not in a pencils, easel, glint of a beast in the eye sort of way - but almost military in stance and gait despite the hardness they were dropping - Outside when we collared them it made even more sense - He was wearing a fucking beret and vibing hard.

They rinsed through some of the best bits of both albums - Hello Mom and Happy Birthday - two throwaway titles that don’t really bely the brains and bangingness which lie within. Modeselektor’s flex is all low end electronica, sub crunk woofers united by techno. Let Your Love Grow with Paul St. Hillaire words gliding atop was glitched ragga thump with a heart while The Black Block, Hyper Hyper, Hasir and Kill Bill Volume 4 brought the rave rain down on us all.

By the time the pair popped two magnums of fizz all over the crowd in some sort of orgasmic, weird celebration of all things big and hard, we were down the front, roaming on a mosh pit style flex.

Bristol’s big man - Joker finished us off by playing a groovy selection of all tings techno and dubstep. Rinsed on the crystal funktion one system in Fabric’s main room was something to behold and the perfect foil to the German duo. My mind was proper blown by his business - Like the man with the milktray - Sleek, elegant yet you wouldn’t mess with him cos he’d have you up against the wall with one hand round yer throat and the other playing with your balls…

The aftermath was long - But more than worth it. Hello Mom. Not until the day after the day after fingers crossed...

Outside on the streets - they call it papping nerdstyle

Furtive email checking

Lift off

On it Thursday stylings

Incidentally when they played Kill Bill VI, it looked a little like this...

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Fact-based thoughts...

Plopped out a few bits of vitriol for Fact Magazine da other week...

Review of latest Vitalic business here

and The Bloody Beetroots here

The latter is a right load of jellied eel wearing bollocks. But Vitalic is pretty hype despite sounding like 2003 yet skinnier and perhaps even more out of it. Sort of. The video encapsulates those moody Nag Nag Nag vibes perfectly...

Saturday, 24 October 2009

How to enjoy a shit sandwich...

Change is a coming - Shit has been going down - this is what's been happening during the last month or so...

Chilli pork in Clapham...

Final meal in the church - microwaveable fish pie is best enjoyed with a plastic spoon

Pixies at Brixton - encore dry ice flex...

Liverpool Street Tron vibes

On the hoof

Horse and Groom - toilets speak the truth

Trevor Jackson (aka Playgroup) in the mix

Birthday chicken

A Sheffield breakfast

Saturday, 17 October 2009

Rough Disko 5th birthday flex...

In all the hoo har of moving and ting I forgot to shout out that Rough Disko made it to the big ol' 5th birthday just the over week - Apparently, the party was rad and guest star/diva Cooly G tore the Harley a new one.

Anyhoo to celebrate the Gag Reflex put together a lovely new mix - these tapes are always ice fresh and this one is no exception. Oops he did it again. Big.

Download is here

Here's the tracklist - That L-Vis 1990 track is the motherfucking bomb!
  1. Jesse Rose feat. Deize Tigrona - Toca Pra Mim
  2. Efdemin / Martyn - Acid Bells (Martyn's Dark Mix)
  3. Geeneus - Yellowtail VIP
  4. Douster - For Weirdos Only (Momma's Boy rmx)
  5. El Remolon feat MC Marina - Vem Que Tem
  6. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (NOC Hold The Trompet rmx)
  7. Hot City - Sweat
  8. Dre Skull feat. Sizzla - Gone Too Far (Goon rmx)
  9. Buraka Som Sistema feat. Petty - D... D... D... D... Jay (Poligono Big Pachanga rmx)
  10. Maps - I Dream Of Crystal (Solo rmx)
  11. L-Vis 1990 - Come Together
  12. Rob Threezy - The Change Up (Jokers Of The Scene rmx)
  13. Hot City - Yeah!
  14. Brackles - LHC
  15. Jahcoozi - Ally McBills (Robert Johnson 6am X-Ray Italo Rework)

Hudson Mohawke

Talking of Warp, I've been heavily vibing off the new Hudson Mohawke album. Entitled Butter, it's been the soundtrack to a week of sorting shit. Ended up listening to it in bed while crafting a review for the In the News website. Here are some thoughts - I was well into it at half one on Tuesday night.

Check the review in it's inexplicably wank template here

Someone has whacked ZooO00oOm on YouTube - this is the sort of doomy madness you can expect from the big man...

And this cheeky Tweet bootleg got us all wet in the first place...

Warp20 - Sheffield wins...

When I reached 20 years old I had a right old knees up to celebrate hitting a right manly age. I wore a bobble hat with the word ‘cunt’ emblazoned on the front, popped a purple gary beamed in from Ibiza, drank Stella and smoked a big old bift - and this was at 5pm. Warp Records showed they had a bit more class and a little more restraint by not bolting down the sauce too early and peaking too soon. I hasten to add that I peaked and kept on peaking for time when I hit the big 2-0. But Sheffield’s Warp did throw a classy series of events over the course of the weekend.

I endured the 4.5 hour coach journey up on Friday night and, after accidentally dropping a loud trump on said route, landed at midnight into what seemed like Vietnam without the guns, blood and a lorry load more twats. West Street was running amok following the derby match between the city’s two footballing clans. Blood on the streets…

There were many highlights to the 48 hours I was in Sheff - Friday was a classic Sheffield party. So secret, it was half empty the whole ting was a bit of a damp squib of an eve. Maurice Fulton rinsed out the disco with a scowl on his chops while Chris Duckenfield banged out them tough tech house vibes he’s so renowned for. We remained out drinking until 6 before staggering off up Abbeydale for a first turn on the sofa.

Saturday had plenty of big looks going on. Domestic fry up, coffee at Bragazzi’s, cruising up Division Street in a Morris Minor made out of moss listening to Amerie’s One Thing at 13 on the volume dial. It was perhaps the strongest look I’ve ever thrown. The Warp shop was amazing purely for the chaos and the inexplicably large phallus sitting in a glass cabinet by the counter. Nearby boozer Bungalows and Bears also proved to show immense strength, particularly for one of my compadres attempting to rip my rotting finger nail off while slouching at the bar. Cue blood, cue plasters, cue manly talk about dubstep and one of our collective pronouncing how he ‘really wanted to stick his cock in something’. He was the man behind the hotdog stall at Warp20 ladies. The moment is past but I hope you ladies didn’t opt for extra mustard.

The pre-bashiness was at a respectable homestead near Highgate library. We psyched ourselves for an evening of ‘Intelligent Dance Music’ by listening to Robert Palmer’s Some Guys Have All the Luck. It was a great way to warm up to stepping inside the digital mirkin made out of the Magna Centre. After checking videos project across a screen on Park Hill (arriving just in time for the showing of Windowlicker was particularly hype) we tried to hop on the coaches that were shepherding old ravers out towards Attercliffe. Despite the near fight to hop onto a bus, and a deeply pissed off driver we made it to the cavernous digital hanger that is Magna via half a bottle of very cheap white rum. Full of projections and dry looking pizza the vibe was inherently large before we’d even heard a drop of music fall.

Entering the main arena is something I’d put close to heaven for an unashamedly nerdy electronic geek like myself. A big fuck off rave in what looked like an aircraft hanger bouncing with bleepy acid rave. Nightmares on Wax were surprisingly non-reggae-lite shite (sounds like a sauce) and deeply digital - a pleasant surprise.

Personally I think Squarepusher is, has been and always will be a bass loving twat. His riffing and keyboard spazzing (which he freely admitted to making up on the spot - the winging it charlatan bastard) was a fly in our pissed up ointment. He can take his orange parka and fuck off. We opted for red bull, beers in plastic bottles and talk of breast milk lattes (or at least their fucking whereabouts).

After getting distinctly jazzy with it, we reentered the womb of the party to hear Weatherall bushwhacking the place with Frankie Knuckles, a tache and a box of bleep classics. Watching him lay down a mix was like gazing upon a retired military man playing Risk with impeccable precision. I can’t decide whether it’s cos he’s ancient, totally out of his mind or concentrating so hard he’s forgotten momentarily where he is. An old fashioned bastard with great facial hair, impeccable taste in music and a drug habit the size of a small nation. What a man. Someone to look up to for sure. A role model for us all.

Winston Hazel did it for the last hour and hardy 200 or so nutters left - I don’t know what a single tune he played was but fuck me everyone was amazing. I even donned a pair of goggles the beat was so strong. Lean, stripey jumper on and records in mouth, Sheffield’s own man proved he’s fucking got it in spades.

Breast latte, perfect worst nightmare, cider for breakfast. I was vibing off this for time. It’s amazing to see Sheffield get is so right. For once. Next stop Berlin? See you in the Panorama Bar. Roll on the next 20 years…

In the heart of the rave

Searching for a rizla. And a breast milk latte.

Eating out IDM styles

Shouting at the driver


Sheffield styles...

Aphex face mask

A massive cock