Monday, 3 October 2011
Once upon a time in the West - Toronto part uno
Many great trips have humble beginnings - and for some folk there ain't nothing more humble than 'slumming it' in a Wetherspoons before boarding a flight to somewhere nice. I'd go as far as saying there's nowt more satisfying than a fried breakfast and a pint of Stella before taking on an adventure. And the more like a 'spoons it is, the better. So it was when we went to Canada in the middle of September. It ain't a real 'spoons but the boozer in Heathrow's Terminal does a very good impression.
Ostenibly this trip to the North Americas was for work purposes - a financial conference - but the whole endeavour was taken in through eyes both wild, wide and wandering. Not least cos I hit 30 while we were out there. And enjoyed about four hours sleep on the Friday before having to get up to make it to the airport to board our flight the following morning.
Despite this, right from the get go, it was pure shits and giggles. This was the first time I'd voyaged across the Atlantic so I was especially delirious from the off.
Events unfolded in a haphazard, yet spectacular way - we got shitted on the plane over. Then hit up Hooters. On Sunday we whooped at a baseball match. Then I journeyed up the CN Tower with my eyes closed in the evening, where we drank fine wines and sucked on oysters. Much of the week's evenings were spent working - then followed by attempts to drown ourselves in jager bombs. And almost drowning ourselves in hot wings.
These are the first set of images charting the highs and lows which went down in advance of reaching the dirty thirties. Expect more blurry snapshots of food, beers and wheezing. Big up Air Canada. Big up the accomplices. You can't test the team!
The first pint - Saturday morning - 10ish in the am - 'beater
Our transport. A Boeing. Natch.
Microwaveable roast - delectable
Sophisticated consumption at altitude
More sophistication. More altitude
The least sophisticated consumer on the flight
Have you ever shipped a goat?
Hungry for the power
First jager bomb. In Hooters.
Half of the first 50 hot wings. They look like the claws of crabs
The naughty CN Tower sneeking a peak
A fuck off screen in a fuck off sports bar
Bats and ting
Beer 2 - crack 'em
Beer 3 - yes yes
Beer 4 - bleurgh
Man-sized Red Bull
Dogs all round
Get me another dog
Oysters - up the CN Tower
Scared at the top of the CN Tower
The people look like ants
Higher than I've ever been before
Bear - at the bottom of the CN Tower
You'll never get me up there again
Gin and Tonics
Hotel window - pre-conference
Shit solo meal - only receipted item of the trip
Sports bar flex
Last hot wings of the 20s
Hot wings emporium
Sock it to me
Catwalk show on final evening of the conference