One of the highlights of my now old job was getting to meet heroes. And meeting soul man Bill Withers was one of the best.
Yep the duck in a microwave Bill Withers of the very same. He's almost 80 and got the wry cynical sense of humour of a fella at least half his years.
We spoke in Bill's hotel bar over a couple of waters back in May and spent half an hour deliberating what a tool Donald Trump is. After we finished he took me to the hotel's Starbucks and made the lady serving promise to give me a donut every time I went in. Right on Bill!
I have no photos of Glastonbury 2017 other than the one above of the shitty little tent I got from Lidl two days before going.
I only spent about five minutes in it over the four or so days we were there but for the sake of posterity, there she blows. Thankfully there was much more on offer than just this tent although it's taken us until now to piece the narrative together. Still however much was forgotten, I'm never going to forget how much it hurt coming back on the Monday. Sloping back into Tottenham at 10am that morning having not slept for the past two nights and with only a Babybell and the crumbs of a bacon butty as fuel meant for a massive, grizzly ouch. Here is a list of the best things we can (kind of) vaguely remember...
Craig David
Turns out he can kill it on the main stage when he's got a laptop full of big R&B bangers and some pure syrup coming out of his gob. The whole site must blatantly have been pissed when he played on the Friday afternoon as he got tongues wagging for the duration of the festival. It's hardly Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock but whatevs, 2017 isn't as good as 1969 is it?
The Crow's Nest
Perhaps the coolest spot in the whole place, this bar at the top of the Park gives you a bird's eye view of the entire site and some of the best musical selections of the weekend. We were there on Sunday for the final hurrah which meant some huge chugging techno courtesy of one of Jagwa Ma. It was extreme as minds frayed ever closer to the edge.
Thatchers
Every other weekend of the year I would say Thatchers is the most disgusting liquid you could insert in your mouth. Even bleach is more appealing. But somehow at Glastonbury it works as the perfect fuel to keep you standing upright when you really should be having a lie down. Nice work Thatchers. You've got a well deserved reputation as loopy juice.
Justice
Sure Justice haven't progressed their sound too much from the early 2000s but jesus god it sounded extremely large and ravey when they headlined the West Holts on Sunday night. They still smoke, have big lights, a weird god complex and the biggest kick drums this side of Van Halen. The perfect antidote to flagging spirits.
Dancing in tents
Away from Radiohead and Ed Sheeran one finds oneself dancing to no mark DJs but with big tunes in their bag at all times of the day. Sunday morning was a case in point. Although I've no idea where we were or who they were. Props to the underdogs without any rep. I haven't a clue about your identities but you kept it large and in charge.
NYC Downlow
The best club in the world? Quite possibly, this alive and voguing shrine to the meat packing district raves of seventies down town New York is the one, especially when they crank it up and all you can see are amyl cracking drag queens. Intense, crazy and weird.
Acting like a caveman
There's a lot to be said for changing one's pants and socks in the real world. Your rep will be mud if you have stinking toes and halitosis. But at Glastonbury, who cares. I didn't take my shoes off the whole weekend and felt all the better for it.
We went to Glastonbury in 2015 too and this is what happened...
We've been sucking up new tunes as fast as they emerge so here's a top ten of recent hits round our way. All go well with a Theresa May meme.
First up is this killer from Shoegazers Ride. If you didn't know, they're back and I can't get enough of this. It's produced by Erol Alkan and the verses are masterclasses in swirling, dreamy guitar aceness.
I've no idea who Wooden Shjips are and what These Shadows is about but Jarvis Cocker opened his Sunday Service with it a while back and I was instantly smitten. Goes good with crumpets innit.
Chris and Cosey have always been at the back of the class throwing LSD tabs and dildos at the teachers when it comes to electronica. Exotika is an amazing slice of proto house business capable of destroying any party, whether it's been going for three hours or three days. Stonker mate. Get inside it.
Slowdive were a band who started out before I had a clue what was going on because I was into the Supernaturals and Grass Show. But now, like EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD, they're back with new music. Unlike everyone else though, they sound fucking huge and immense. Star Roving from their new self-titled album is the one.
I've no idea who Hugh Pascall but this remix manages to make the church organ sound both creepy and balearic. Hats off to Max Cooper for bringing it.
Thundercat is making 22nd century yacht rock. Check it. It's perfect for sipping pina coladas by the pool at beach resorts on Mars. It's killer and features some of the originals.
Mura Masa makes music for people in their twenties and soundtracks shit clothing ads on ITV 3 during the Love Island ads. There are plenty of drippy synths and steel pans. But I don't care, it's addictive as fuck.
Apart from Jeremy Corbyn, Stormzy is the man of 2016. Or at least no one else is riding such a huge wave of hype. Or got as many tongues waving in the post Glastonbury dust storm, This one is the best off a meh meh album...
The Brian Jonestown Massacre have been in our lives since we hosted a gig with them as headliners in Sheffield back in the mid 2000s. We got hammered, they requested peyote, they fell out with each other and when we eventually got out of bed the next day, there was a big unexplained puddle on the front room carpet. Years later they've still got it and here's the proof...
It's hard to argue with the Thin White Duke and it's even harder to argue with this. Kills it every time...
